Two years of dread(locks)

There's a lot going on in our world and in our families' lives right now. This post is a "light" topic, not because those things don't matter, but because sometimes I need a break from the "heavy" stuff. Enjoy if you like this sort of thing, check back next month if you don't!

If you regularly read our blog or newsletters, you may have noticed that my (Kim's) hair has changed a bit over the past two years. Let me start by saying that I've never been a person to settle on a hair cut or style. My first memory of making a conscious decision about my hair was when I was around age 7, and wanted to grow out my bangs (they would call it a fringe now, apparently). Seeing my hair constantly in my eyes was driving my dad crazy, so he told me that if I asked my mom to trim my bangs, he would take me to the mall to get my ears pierced. Deal. Hair grows, Dad! Got my first piercings, AND got rid of the bangs a few months later! (Note: NOT the last time my father bribed me with a piercing! Ask me sometime how my nose came to be pierced just before I went to college.)

Over the years, starting with a late night haircut by my junior high classmates, my hair has been short long, curly, straight(ened), highlighted, dyed, and even permed once. Most of these different styles have been DIY. One look that I always wanted to try (probably since college, during the height of Shane Claiborne's popularity) was dreadlocks. I was never able to due to being a student, resident, and then having to appear before a board to prove myself to be a qualified and professional physician in order to be "board certified." So, when I passed my board exam in 2022, dreadlocks were finally on the table.

Day 2 of getting my dreadlocks "crocheted"

With age 40 rapidly approaching, more gray hair coming in every day, and no particular love of my hairstyle at the time (self-cut), I decided to go for it. About 6 months before me, another ex-pat in our community had found someone in Eldoret who was willing to do dreadlocks in caucasian hair, and so she was the "guinea pig." In September 2023, I spent 2 days in Eldoret having my 49 dreadlocks "crocheted." I went back to the same guy a few times over the next several months to touch them up, and then to a local lady in Kapsowar to have them maintained. After one full year of having others maintain my dreadlocks, I switched to self-maintainance. I haven't talked about my dreadlocks a lot unless people ask - some people probably strongly dislike them, and that's totally fine. I'm certainly not pushing them as a hairstyle that people have to love! Here are some answers to common questions:

After about 1.5 years, the dreadlocks had enough length to try some different styling techniques

- WHY? I just always wanted to try it, and finally had the opportunity to do so. I wear a scrubcap almost all the time at work, so I didn't feel like my hairstyle really mattered much.

- What else is in there? My dreadlocks were just my hair, but I did use some wax to keep them compressed or "tight" especially at the roots, and occasionally something called "dread butter" which was supposed to keep the hair from getting overly dry and rough.

- Is it easier than a "normal" haircut? Not really. I knew the first year was going to be a lot of work as the dreadlocks got established, but without putting a bit of energy into it in the second year, things were getting a bit chaotic and was frizzier/fuzzier than I liked.

- Do you love them? I would say I really enjoyed having dreadlocks when I was able and willing to put the energy into them, when they were quite long and I could take time to style them in different ways. It was a fun creative outlet. However, I enjoy a lot of other fun creative outlets that also involve the use of my hands, and so choosing between dreadlock maintainance and doing other stuff (cooking, knitting, cross-stitch, playing piano) was becoming a decision that I really didn't want to keep making.

- How do you take the dreadlocks out? Well, that's not really something I explored until I had made my decision that I was finished. The options include cutting ALL the hair off, cutting a bit of the dread off at the bottom and then trying to pick the rest apart, or what I did, trimming the dreads to approximately the length I wanted for my next haircut, and then hair by hair gently pulling them out of the dread near the root end. This took a LOT of time and probably wouldn't work for someone with coarse hair, but it turns out my hair isn't very coarse at all, so it actually went pretty well. Between giving myself a haircut a few months ago (trimmed all my dreadlocks to about half their length) and ultimately removing the dreadlocks, I had about 2 gallon-sized ziplock bags of hair that I threw out! My head feels REALLY light - and small - now!

On Safari: Notes from a Reluctant (Christian) Traveler

Romans 1.9-12: “God, whom I serve in my spirit in preaching the gospel of his Son, is my witness how constantly I remember you  in my prayers at all times; and I pray that now at last by God’s will the way may be opened for me to come to you. I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.” (NIV)

    This year I turned 40. And for reasons not entirely known to me, as I get older, I get less and less excited about travel. Perhaps one reason is that I like living in our community in the Kenyan highlands. We have good friends and neighbors, we enjoy our work, and we have the best weather on the planet. I like my daily routines, sleep well in my own bed, and always know where to get coffee. Furthermore, I am a poor swimmer and don’t particularly like hot weather, so even Kenya’s beautiful white-sand beaches don’t appeal much to me. And then there are the bourgeois issues of sitting for long periods of time, making sure you have the right documents, and crossing borders.

Wading in the Indian Ocean

    But even I recognize that some travel is good and important and worthwhile. And that was the case with a recent trip to Tanzania to visit some dear friends and team members. It was an opportune time for our family. I was between terms for teaching at the theological school, Dominic could take a break from homeschool, and Kim had good doctors who could cover the clinic.

We all enjoyed the break from school!

    In 2024, John and Kate and their family (from the US) came to live and work in our medical community for six months. John, the father and husband, is a family practice doctor. And his wife, Kate, is a Physician’s Assistant, who during this season of life, stays home with their three lovely kids. They quickly jumped into life and culture in Africa and became a blessing to our mission community and the broader Kapsowar community. When their six months were up and it was time to return to the US, they expressed interest in returning to Kapsowar for a longer period. And not long before they decided to return with our mission organization, Serge, making them our new teammates! They had much to do over the next year, selling their home, raise support from friends, family and churches and attend missionary training school (yes, this is a real thing), not to mention wrapping up life in the US and saying goodbye to friends. In addition, the Serge organization recommended that they do three months of Swahili training in Tanzania before moving to Kapsowar.

    Over the course of all this preparation, we have kept up with John and Kate over email, WhatsApp and Zoom. And while I am thankful for these technological developments that connect us to our loved ones over great distances, there really is no substitute for a real hug, conversation, face to face, or sharing a meal (even if it is a Tanzanian Pizza Hut!). One might even use the Christian theological term, “incarnation” (“in the flesh”) to describe this deep “with-ness” that is at the core of Christian friendship and community.

Dar es Salaam has an endless variety of decals for their tuk tuks

    While the Apostle Paul loved communicating by letter and would have marveled at Zoom, I think he would have agreed that there is no substitute for truly sharing life together. In spite of having to do the journey by foot and struggling with health problems, the continued threat of bandits and persecution, he seemed to love to connect with his brothers and sisters in Christ. And in our thoroughly “connected” world, so many still long for true, deep “connection.” Our technology can tempt us to forget the divine gift and blessing of true and deep human connection--especially when the Holy Spirit which connects us across great distances brings us together again after time apart.

Paul concludes his letter to Philemon this way:
“One more thing—please prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that God will answer your prayers and let me return to you soon.” (NLT)

Perhaps take some advice from me, a very reluctant traveler, and the Apostle Paul. Make plans today to go and visit family or friends. It will be worth your while.

~Kristopher

Precious time with new teammates!

Summertime

One thing Kris often talks about is how hard it is to mark the passage of time in our lives in Kapsowar. As non-farmers, we often feel that the seasons are very similar here - pleasant, slightly warmer than pleasant, slightly cooler than pleasant (although Kris would NEVER admit that there is such as thing as slightly cooler than pleasant here). Sometimes it is shocking to read about weather phenomena in North America and realize that the mid-west is in tornado season again, or that flights are grounded by winter storms, or there's another severe heat wave. Here in Kapsowar, I mark time very differently - by the visitors, both medical and non-medical, who come to visit us, or by the trips we make to visit others.

Over the past five years, we've had some really special visits with family! 

This (North American) summer, we'll be sad to miss many family get-togethers and special occasions. It makes us so grateful to be living overseas in the era of video calls! At least we can say hello instead of writing a letter and receiving a reply months later! And even when the weather is cool here, we like to celebrate "summer" with some traditional picnic or barbeque food, and weekend campfires if it's not raining. Enjoy your summer, stay safe, and eat an extra hot dog or s'more for us!

A reflection on motherhood

Every year around Mother's Day, I find myself caught in two main reflections. First and foremost, of course, is gratitude for my own mother, and the growing appreciation I have for her as I realize how difficult it is to be a mother, especially of an independent and strong-willed child!

The second reflection is about my patients. As an OB/Gyn, so much of my work circles around the idea of motherhood. Women who aren't pregnant and want to be. Women who want help with family planning methods so that they can time their next pregnancy when their family is ready for another child. Women who have been pregnant, sometimes over and over, but have never brought a child home with them due to what is know here as "Bad Obstetric History."

A few weeks before Mother's Day, I got a call from one of our visiting physicians. "I have your patient Faith here" (name changed, of course). The patient's name was an incredibly common one, and I wasn't sure who he meant. I waited for more information. "She's had two stillbirths at term; this is her third pregnancy."

As an general OB/Gyn, I'm fully trained to see routine pregnancies and manage some high-risk conditions in pregnancy as well. A general OB/Gyn in the US might very reasonably see a patient in his/her clinic with a history of one prior stillbirth. However, to have a patient with two prior stillbirths would be quite uncommon, and most likely a general OB/Gyn would at least get a consultation from a high-risk Obstetrics physician (we call them "Maternal Fetal Medicine" trained OB/Gyns).

What made this conversation stick out in my mind was not the fact that this woman had two prior stillbirths. It was that even after receiving her name and history from the visiting physician - I still couldn't recall who this patient was. Not because I'm a heartless provider, or I have a terrible memory - but because we have so many patients with a similar story. Being a referral center for high-risk pregnancies, of course, we have much higher rates of "Bad Obstetric History" than most antenatal clinics would see. But still, the number of patients we see with potentially avoidable pregnancy losses is at times heartbreaking, and it is staggering to think that Kenya is much much better at maternal-child health than other countries in the world.

Some people tell me that the women in Kenya are so strong, to be able to deal with these pregnancy losses and still carry on. I can tell you on the one hand - yes, they are incredibly strong. And on the other hand - many have no option but to carry on. Others aren't able to. I've met women in my practice who have lost their marriages, families, and communities due to their difficulty conceiving or carrying a pregnancy. I've met women with suicidal thoughts and profound grief, depression, or anxiety due to the loss of a current or past pregnancy. The fact that these women may have a sister, mother, or friend who has also lost a baby "normalizes" the experience a little, but it doesn't make the loss any easier for any particular mother. 

I'd love to end this post with some profound insight or great plan of how we're going to end "Bad Obstetric History" in Kapsowar, or a moving call to action. I guess I'm clean out of pithy summaries. Maybe as you reflect on motherhood in your culture or context, think about the women and mothers who might be struggling within your sphere of influence, and send them a kind or encouraging word to let them know that they are valued, no matter what they have been through. 

A Shameless Plug - Kapsowar School of Theology

Kris has not been teaching during the first term of 2025, due to traveling and several projects around our house and station that required his supervision. He's also been working on setting up the first ever Kapsowar School of Theology website. It's literally a site - a single page - targeted toward men and women interested in attending the school. Check it out here!